GOING TO SHOWS WITH WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS

On Thursday night, my wife and I went out to a show/benefit at Crobar on 28th St. It was a Katrina fundraiser sponsored by MoveOn.org, headlined by the Roots and Moby, with readings/speeches by Julia Stiles, Rosie Perez, Ned Lamont, and others.

But before I describe the great time we had, I should preface this story by explaining that my wife only agrees to accompany me to concerts/events under certain circumstances. We've been together ten years now, and in our early days together (the late 90s) I would drag her to countless hip-hop shows -- this was during the Rawkus era -- where we would have to stand for hours and endure awful opening acts until the headliner finally came on, hours later than scheduled, at 2am or whenever. As a result, nowadays she (understandably) has specific ground rules for live music. And I only invite her to performances that I know are guaranteed to be funky from start to finish -- and that I know will be painless. Shows that start on time, that end relatively early, and that don't require standing in crazy lines or jostling with fratboys, thugs, etc.

I should also point out that it is not just my wife who has grown weary of the live music scene. As I have gotten older, I've become much the same way. I just can't stand up for that long, and I don't have any patience for medicore opening acts. She and I are big fans of grown-folks venues, where you can sit and chill. Our favorite gig, for example, is the annual winter concert at BAM where we can sit in an opera-house-like space and enjoy real adult music like Bobby "Blue" Bland and Sam Moore (of Sam & Dave).

Don't get me wrong -- obviously, I still love me some hardcore sounds. I haven't become one of the Starbucks CD crowd yet. All I'm trying to say is that I totally see where my wife is coming from, in being selective about live music experiences. Which brings me back to the Crobar event...

I knew my wife would enjoy this one. The Roots have never let us down. Plus, it was for a good cause. And it was in a small club, and the whole thing was a bit out of the ordinary, not just your ususal show. And it was supposed to start promptly at 7 and be over by 9 or 10. And the tickets included an open bar.

So we slid in the place right at the beginning, before 7:00. Usually, my need to be at these things exactly on time drives my wife crazy. She says I'm on J.P.T.: Jewish People's Time. (No need for alarm, all you Member-of-the-Tribe readers, she's just joking, and she's my wife so she's got "license.") In this particular case, however, arriving early worked to our extreme advantage. Cause it meant we could start hitting up the open bar right away. And because we somehow scored the most amazing seats in the entire place.

I say we "somehow" scored, but it's really no mystery. Going to a show with a woman, particularly a pretty woman, is a different experience than going with your guy friends. Seriously, they just roll out the red carpet for you. My wife sweet-talked a bouncer and within minutes, not only were we in a VIP section but we were in this tiny little booth where CNN was interviewing all the celebs in the house.

We started chatting with the CNN interviewer, a really nice lady, and we got in good with her. So for the rest of the night, she had our back. Anytime anyone asked us to leave, she said "They're with me, they can stay." So it was just us, the CNN lady, the two camera people, and an assortment of interviewees including Moby, ?uestlove, and Rosie Perez.

I finally got introduced to ?uest -- after having seen the Roots at least 20+ times in the last ten years -- and was completely tongue-tied. Oh well. But we got to talk for a little bit to Rosie, who my wife and I both adore, though for slightly different reasons, I'm sure. Nudge nudge. Anyway, we were psyched to say hi to her, especially because she lives around the corner from us.

As for the rest of the show, it rocked. I had about eight free gin & tonics. (I was going to get my money's worth, goddamnit!) And the Roots were great, as always. They played all new stuff, from Game Theory, which is out this week. The best part of their show was the full Crescent City brass section, led by Jeff Bradshaw (who is actually from Philly). They had the crowd hype, especially when they segued from Ray Charles' "I Got a Woman" into a super-energetic version of Kanye's "Golddigger."

We were home in bed by 11:30. A perfect night for us old folks...